About Friendship

As I titled this post I’m reminded that I must consciously depress the “R” key when typing or it won’t “egister” [read: register]. Hence, the title almost became “About Fiendship.” Our intimates and ourselves, seeming more fiend than friend, at times. Oddly appropriate, for what I’m about to say.

I am fortunate in that I have unnumbered acquaintances, many friends, a large number of stalwarts, and a precious core of persons, with whom I resonate in such harmonious frequency, that I truly feel buoyed by their presence in my life. They in turn uplifted by me. I have been told by quite a few people over the years that I really seem to know what friendship is all about. I’m glad they think so. I see how much more I need to learn.

After a recent “fall from grace,” which has seen me removed from ministry in my church, I became estranged from several of those closest to me. Others, drew closer, still more were unfazed. Myriad emotions have coursed through me as my world has unraveled. Anger, shame, loss, abandonment, love, etc… I am amazed at the open armed grace of some, and shocked at the cold justice of others; such a range of response! Some who’ve entered into my struggle describe me as brave, others question the genuineness of my faith. Most seeing my need to heal have been a quiet, yet strong support in a difficult time. ALL of them love me. As I’ve moved through an awareness of being betrayer and betrayed, I’m learning a new dimension of friendship…how to ask for forgiveness from those I’ve wounded. How to ask for help from those who have wounded me, so that we might rebuild the brokenness between us, together. I’m finding that the road to reconciliation is not paved with flowers, it will be long and is painful…for all concerned; and as I approach each broken bridge, I stop and begin laying new planks over the span, catching a glimpse as I do, of the same being done from the other side.

DLG